Fan Mail
by The Otter in Pink Sunglasses
Summary: A little fluffy one shot about the laziness of Ronald Weasley and a sea of envelopes in his room.


**AN: Got the idea for this while watching Jeremy Kyle of all things (I'm sure there are so many other productive things an A level student could be doing on her day off!). Just a little fluffy one shot about the laziness of Ronald Weasley. **

**Disclaimer: Harry Potter is not mine-more's the pity- belongs to the brilliant J.K. Rowling**

"Ronald, really? Can't you see this is getting ridiculous" Hermione sighed while trying to make her way through the door of the attic bedroom that was blocked by the sea of envelopes that lay across the floor of Ron's room. Ron meanwhile continued to lie on his bed, oblivious to his girlfriend's struggle as she finally managed to get through the door and attempt to make her way across to him.

"Well what else am I supposed to do with them?"

"Well you could have the decency to at least open them and reply" she shot back, almost tripping on a hidden parcel beneath the paper. She narrowly regained her balance and continued, "They did take the time to write to you, after all. Some even sent gifts." she said lifting the parcel, "It's only polite to at least acknowledge them."

"Well it's only too right that they should acknowledge that I bloody helped to save the world!" He could feel Hermione's glare before he saw it "I mean, they only had to write one letter, that doesn't take much time, how long's it gonna take me to do _all_ of these?"

"Well _I_ managed" she replied, now half way across the room, negotiating how best to tackle a particularly high mountain of letters.

"Yes, but you're you."

"Well if you're not going to read them, you could get rid of some at least. I can't even see Harry's bed, let alone the carpet! No wonder he's sleeping in Ginny's room now!" Ron groaned trying not to imagine his best friend was doing in his little sister's bedroom. He stuffed a chocolate frog into his mouth to focus on anything but those images and threw the wrapper to join the rest of the chaos on the floor.

"But that will take forever to get rid of them! There are bloody loads!"

"You're a wizard Ron, you can vanish them in two seconds! It's what Harry does." she sighed, exasperated as she leant against the wardrobe for balance as she took another step.

"Yeah, but their maybe some ones I wanna keep. Like you said, there're probably presents down there!" Hermione rolled her eyes at his laziness as she finally managed to sit down on his bed, exhausted after her trek.

"Well if you're not going to sort them out on your own, we'll do it together." She said, ignoring his groan as she started to pick up a handful of letters, "I'll read them and you can decide whether you want to keep them or not, Okay? Besides, the quicker we do this, the quicker we can get Harry out of your sister's bed."

"He's actually sleeping in her bed?"

"Well yes, there's only two in there. Don't worry," she added seeing the horrified look on his face, "They can't do anything, I'm still sleeping in there, remember?" Ron did remember, unfortunately. Hermione opened a letter and started to read.

"_Dear Mr Weasley,"_ she read_, "I would like to congratulate you on-"_

"Is there anything in there?" He interrupted, grabbing the envelope and inspecting it "nah, nothing. Just bin it then."

"Ron you can't just judge-" But Ron interrupted again, this time grabbing the remaining envelopes out of her hand and feeling along them for anything that wasn't paper. "Ron!"

"What? It's quicker. We'll be here for years, else!" He replied, finally feeling a lump and ripping open the envelope to reap the discovery "Great! A Galleon! Thank you very much," he read the bottom of the letter, "Mrs W Owlson."

"Ron, you can't accept that!" Hermione exclaimed, taking the letter back "Look, you can send it back, she left an address."

"Why should I? It's the same as gifts just one step behind," He replied with a slight grin on his face that he knew she loved "Besides, Mum says it's rude not to accept a gift and you complain if I'm rude so-"

"Don't turn this back on me. You just can't accept people's money! That might be some starving family's last galleon and because they didn't have anything else to give as a sign of thanks, they sent that!"

"Nah, she sounds like a posh bird to me-"

"RON! You're acting as though you asked to fight for freedom and become a hero just for the fame and fortune! Try not to forget that many people died, were hurt and lost loved ones in this war! It was about more than just your fan mail!" The grin vanished from Ron's face almost immediately as Hermione continued to stare daggers at him.

"Sorry," He said finally, "look, we'll go through and find the gifts then and anything that has money in or something expensive, we'll send back with our thanks, Ok?" Hermione nodded and started to work on the pile in front of her. Ron smiled sheepishly and mimicked her actions.

After two hours or so, they had found a total of 57 chocolate frogs, 39 galleons, 78 sickles, 6 knuts, a gold cauldron, 4 sneak-o-scopes and a smelly, dripping package that neither of them wanted to identify.

"I was starting to wonder what the smell was" said Ron jokingly as Hermione rolled her eyes.

"Honestly, Ron. Didn't it even cross your mind to- AHHH!" she screamed, falling backwards into a mountain of envelopes as something jumped on her.

"Hermione!" He shouted, diving down to help her from some unknown beast that may harm her. But instead of being met by screams, to his astonishment, she was laughing.

"How long have you been in there, you silly thing? Aw, did the mean ginger moron trap you under his rubbish because he was too lazy to pick it up?"

"Hermione?" He shifted a pile of paper out of the way to see Hermione, flat on her back, having her face licked by an orange fluff ball.

"Poor Crookshanks," she laughed, sitting up "Go ahead, I bet you're starving." she said, pointing him in the direction of the door. The cat took little time in relishing his freedom and bolted out of the door and down the stairs.

"If he's peed in here-"

"Then it will be your own fault for not cleaning it sooner" she replied looking at her watch "Wow, it's nearly eight o'clock! We better finish this soon!" She picked up another letter, feeling along it and opening the seal. Ron peered curiously at her discovery, only to see that it was…

"A badge?"he asked, confused. Hermione to giggling.

"Yes Ron, a badge. A very special badge, in fact" she laughed, holding it out to him. He stared at it, as there, in the middle of it- surrounded by twinkling and moving pink stars, hearts and butterflies- was his face. Above it were the words '_The Ron Weasley Fan Club'_

"_Dear Ron Weasley," _half-giggled Hermione, reading the letter accompanying Ron's 'gift', "_My name is Amy Walltoad and I am your biggest fan. I mean, I really love you because of all of the amazing things you did like the saving the world and that."_ Hermione paused to let out a fit of giggles, Ron continued to stare,_ "So me and my girls (Mandy, Chloe, Jade and Kelly) decided that it would be really cool to make a club dedicated to you- because they love you so much too. Kelly also thought it would be a good idea to give you some much needed advice. You see, like, everyone knows your going out with that Hermione Granger. Well, we think that you can do a lot better, I mean, she's got the worst hair imaginable and she's far too short for you!"_ Hermione paused and scoffed.

"You're not! Besides, I love your hair!" He instantly felt his ears glow red; wishing he'd paid more attention on how to properly complement while reading _Twelve Fail-Safe Ways to Charm Witches_. To his relief, Hermione smiled and continued to read.

"_So we think that you should dump her and find someone better- you'll be happier in the long run. I mean, like, we'll all over 5ft 7" and have much nicer hair (Chloe's even ginger like you!) so we'd be a lot better. Meanwhile, here's an honorary member badge for you to keep! Our meetings are every Saturday and every third Thursday at the address given and then will be in the Hufflepuff Common Room after September. Hope you can make it!"_ Hermione looked up at Ron, still smiling "_Hugs and butterfly kisses, Amy, Mandy, Chloe, Jade and Kelly xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo"_ Hermione looked up and smiled again, on the verge of another fit of giggles.

"Well…..that was….nauseous" Hermione giggled.

"By the looks of it, they're around 12- or just have really bad grammar. Are you sure you don't want to dump me for a bunch of 5ft 7", straight haired 12 year olds?" she asked, one eye-brow raised.

"Definitely!" he replied almost instantly, capturing her lips with his own. Hermione smiled and pulled away slowly.

"We still have to get this room cleared up. Harry's in your sister's bed, remember?" Ron groaned as she stood up.

Bloody fan mail.


End file.
